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What About Me!

 

 

 

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Some people think solely about themselves, others mostly about themselves and others never about themselves. Like most things in life a little balance is a good thing. Sadly certain people and even organisations expect a lot or else regard one as unworthy or not reaching their standard. This takes it’s toll on the giver/doer and has a huge cost. Worn out by constant doing for others they sometimes even give up despairing of ever being “GOOD ENOUGH” or “DOING ENOUGH TO PLEASE”  “I should do more…”

I have found, as I have become older and a little wiser, that some people just take and if you are a giver by nature you need to take the difficult step for most givers of putting strong boundaries in place.

It is good to give but it is necessary to remember to also give to yourself and this requires taking time for yourself to do the things that give you pleasure.

A slot in your diary for “ME TIME” is vital especially for busy people.

Taking time to replenish and nurture yourself is not selfish and you must never fell guilty or that you are not doing what you should because by taking time out regularly you will find you  are wiser about what ,when and how to give in a way that is beneficial to all involved. You will also develop a greater ability to give lovingly and without strings, so by having compassion on yourself, stepping back and having some me time, you are really helping others as well.

In all things let there be balance in you life is a lesson I have had to learn the hard way.

I hope it is something you already do, if not don’t wait for sickness to make you take time out, start planning changes and enjoy the journey.

Namaste Brita

 

 

 

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One Path We All Follow

All paths lead to the light in time but some are easier to see. Listening to the experience of others often lights our way and it isn’t always those older that have all the wisdom. Often as we  gaze in awe at a new born we saw “an old soul, they are born wise.” Children have a simple truth that can often resonate like a slap in the face, they just tell it as they see it, shocking us with their truth. Older folk speak often their truth softly and only to those open enough to hear it without judgement as they have learned not to waste their precious breathe on those who “Already know it all,”

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Seeing Life’s Path Clearly Now The Fog Has Lifted.

Seeing Life's Path Clearly Now The Fog Has Lifted.

The Way Ahead Is Easy To See. A New perspective and time out have helped clear the way.
Please see previous two posts to understand this as I was unable to get the whole post to load as one. I still have much to learn not only on life’s journey but also on my computer skills journey. Thanks for your patience. Namaste.

CREATING A PERSONAL RETREAT.

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Are you time poor with too many demands from work, family or other commitments to attend a retreat or do you simply not have the money to pay for one? Whatever the reason, there is a simple solution, CREATE YOUR OWN.

With a little planning and preparation you can honour yourself and take the time to focus on renewing your spirit and getting back in touch with yourself or perhaps even reach out towards the spiritual awareness you desire.

The first thing to remember is that you are worth the effort. If that isn’t a good enough reason to make time then perhaps for some reason you haven’t yet discovered the importance of self love, in that case, for the moment, focus on the benefits a retreat will bring to everyone around you. A calmer, happier, more positive and peaceful you will be able to give them greater support.

PREPARATION.

* FIND A SUITABLE TIME.

What is the best day of the week to do it. Fewer commitments. Easier for those living with you  to support your need for silence.

Children at camp, away visiting, partner away, quieter time at work etc. If none of these are happening organise for them to happen.

*PREPARE YOURSELF.

Look forward to this time. Think what will make it really work for me? If you are addicted to coffee, tea or some other stimulant that will prevent your mind from settling cut back gradually. It will almost impossible to meditate with a screaming headache.

You might like to purchase some small item to enhance the experience for you. (This is not essential but if this is a treat you are giving yourself buying a special candle, some incense, a crystal, religious object, flowers or some special music can mark it as special and make it more significant.)

*TELL EVERYONE YOU ARE UNCONTACTABLE.

If it is difficult for you to do this for any reason, for example if you feel you don’t wish to share what you are doing at work, but need to take time out, then give a good reason, there is no need to lie simply tell the truth. “I am  going to visit a close friend who needs me and I won’t have phone/internet reception until I return.” Remember that no one is so important that they can’t be done without. It will only be for a day. If you were to die right now it may be a nuisance to some but they would quickly find a way to do those jobs. Look at it this way, at least you’ll be back and most if not all the jobs can wait till then.  If any can’t then delegate them for the day.

*DRAW UP A PROGRAMME.

Decide the length and number of your sessions. Four 30 minute sessions may be enough for a start (or six to eight 30 minute sessions).

Decide on the type/types of meditation techniques you will use. Sitting with focus on breath, object, mantra or walking.

*FIND A SUITABLE PLACE TO MEDITATE.

It needs to be quiet, not too warm and airy.

*CHOOSE SUITABLE MUSIC IF YOU ARE USING IT.

*DECIDE WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO BETWEEN SESSIONS.

If you plan to read choose suitable texts. Spend time outside if you have a quiet garden. Physical labour is also suitable as is creating a mandala or artwork. Whatever the task focus mindfully on

*PREPARE FOOD BEFOREHAND.

Keep meals simple and frugal. Fruit, salad, bread, nuts, cheese. Drink only water or fruit juice.

*PREPARE YOUR MEDITATION SPACE.

HAVE WATER AT HAND.

HAVE A WAY OF MARKING THE PASSING OF TIME.

Suitable music with timed pieces can be used or have a watch/ clock in sight so you can time your sessions.

HAVE A BLANKET OR RUG AT HAND.

If you are sitting still you may get cold and hunting for one can be distracting.

*ENLIST THE SUPPORT OF ANYONE WHO LIVES WITH YOU.

So that you can keep silent all day. If you have pets and they may distract you take steps to prevent them doing this during your meditation times.

*TURN OFF ALL PHONES AND COMPUTERS.

BEGIN YOUR PERSONAL RETREAT.

ENJOY YOUR JOURNEY!

Don’t Die With The Music In You!

71What a title to an amazing book!

The book is written by an Australian football coach. “Football coach?” Yes a rugby league  coach, but he is so much bigger than this box into which most Australians fit him (as are we all- boxes don’t work!). My husband bought the book and having seen Bennet on T.V and finding him to be a fascinating, wise, multi layered person I read it. I loved the book. It says in the introduction that he is a contradiction.

“Had Thomas Edison put enough time aside to work him out we’d still be sitting in the dark.” He’s also a Queensland Father of the Year.

 ” Wayne and his serene and beautiful wife Trish faced the heartbreak of seeing their first born son Justin become mentally disabled after an adverse reaction to immunisation. Elizabeth was their first daughter and then Katherine was born with physical disabilities that left her wheelchair bound.” People who know Wayne Bennet speak of a loving and gentle father who has been a mentor to many hundreds of young footballers over the years. A strong role model who made a promise to his mother not to smoke or drink or gamble like his father, and who has made something extraordinary of his life despite the odds being stacked against him.

The whole book page after page is a philosophy of life, his life and his wisdom. It’s quirky, funny but above all enlightening and thought provoking.

ATTITUDE MAKES THE DIFFERENCE.

Why? because a human being can alter their  life by altering their attitude.

Bennet says constant reinforcement is the key.” Where do you get it? By spending time every day, every week, listening and reading and mixing with positive people.

We can all learn from people who have turned around their lives. I have a book here called Never Give Up, and it is a good book, carefully stacked alongside Michael Jordan’s I Can’t Accept Not Trying and biographies of Muhammad Ali and Winston Churchill, Fred Daly and Weary Dunlop.

When trying to develop a better attitude, it’s important to keep away from people who continually knock what you’re trying to achieve.

Small people do that, while the greats make you feel like you too can become one of them. Hey, if you can’t keep away from small people, just teach yourself to ignore them.

Ask yourself these questions:

* Am I allowing my life to be governed by daily activities, or do I choose to live in accordance with good principles?

* Am I allowing my life to be governed by outside forces?

* Am I so busy putting out fires that I don’t have time to start any?

* Do I have important goals and dreams I am committed to, or am I creatively avoiding commitments by filling my life with daily activities?”

The quotes Bennet uses are from diverse sources, his insights life changing. His humour dry! If you can find his book I am sure it will inspire you.

Good luck on your journey!

WAYNE BENNETT -DON’T DIE WITH THE MUSIC IN YOU.  First published in 2002 by ABC Books for the Australian Broadcasting Corporation. Reprinted by Harper Collins Publishers Australia Pty Ltd. ISBN 978 0 7333 2219 8.