Some people think solely about themselves, others mostly about themselves and others never about themselves. Like most things in life a little balance is a good thing. Sadly certain people and even organisations expect a lot or else regard one as unworthy or not reaching their standard. This takes it’s toll on the giver/doer and has a huge cost. Worn out by constant doing for others they sometimes even give up despairing of ever being “GOOD ENOUGH” or “DOING ENOUGH TO PLEASE” “I should do more…”
I have found, as I have become older and a little wiser, that some people just take and if you are a giver by nature you need to take the difficult step for most givers of putting strong boundaries in place.
It is good to give but it is necessary to remember to also give to yourself and this requires taking time for yourself to do the things that give you pleasure.
A slot in your diary for “ME TIME” is vital especially for busy people.
Taking time to replenish and nurture yourself is not selfish and you must never fell guilty or that you are not doing what you should because by taking time out regularly you will find you are wiser about what ,when and how to give in a way that is beneficial to all involved. You will also develop a greater ability to give lovingly and without strings, so by having compassion on yourself, stepping back and having some me time, you are really helping others as well.
In all things let there be balance in you life is a lesson I have had to learn the hard way.
I hope it is something you already do, if not don’t wait for sickness to make you take time out, start planning changes and enjoy the journey.
This is an actual photo taken in England c.1920 of a beggar running alongside King George V’s coach.
To me it shows how little some things change but there is always hope… Hope that more and more people will not look away from the needs of others but will sit with the discomfort they feel and work out a way to help.
“It is not what you look at
But what you see.”
Henry David Thomas.
May we all start to see ourselves in this picture and then start to see how we can change it!
Today I have the flu. It is a beautiful day. The sun is out, the birds singing and I have been forced to stop and rest.
Sometimes I think we forget to stop and just be. While resting I have looked at the other sites of people who are following mine and I have learnt so much. Among them were true jewels, not selling anything but spreading light, love and wisdom. I have put a couple on my site. The one Hand in Hand inspired my poem above, it brought to mind my family now in spirit and awareness brought them close. There is no real separation, they have just passed through a beautiful door into spirit. I will pass through that doorway, again, just as I did when I was born and the experience I know will be just as wonderful. The process may look a bit rough ( It usually is and I am constantly amazed at how strong women are!), but then the smile on the face of a mother, when she first gazes in love and awe at her baby, says it all.
My husband is also supporting me. The papers are here with a cup of tea and he is off to buy something for dinner that we don’t need to cook. While my body feels awful, my spirit has never felt better. Many thanks to all both seen and unseen who are making my day!
Such a lovely day even the kangaroos are up and about!
I am loving just sitting watching everyone enjoying life.
will take away nor mar in any way this gift you give.
Show me how to use this gift to benefit all others and
not to miss through lack of wit or love of speed the beauty that surrounds .
Protect those who drive with me.
Be with me Lord as I travel along so I may go in Your peace and harmony.
I say this prayer every time I get in my car before I drive off. Yesterday it alerted my guardian angel that once again she was on traffic duty and that I was driving. Today I am extremely grateful.
My husband and I had gone to the Gold Coast to do some special gift shopping as there are no big department stores near where we live. On the way home we were on the freeway doing 11o kilometres per hour (the speed limit) when a small blue car flew past us. It was dodging in and out, at one point cutting across all three lanes and it had to be doing 130kph. I had no sooner said to my husband “They’re crazy, an accident waiting to happen!” than they clipped a car and spun out of control. Seven cars were damaged through their thoughtless driving. We would have been involved had we not got out the lift on the wrong level of the car park at the shopping centre and had to walk up a level. Coincidence you may think but there have been two other coincidences in the last three weeks, Guardian Angel working overtime I say! I also add a thank you prayer because while I have no fear of death the thought of being disabled and a burden on my husband is one I don’t like at all, even though he assures me that I would never be a burden and I really do no that no matter what nothing can shake our love for each other. Just another blessing to be thankful for. So many blessings! I am reminded once again of the old hymn that goes:- Count your blessings, name them one by one……….. count your many blessings and it will surprise you what the Lord has done.
The greatest blessing of all was that no one was killed. Hopefully the young girl driving is counting her blessings and learnt a lesson about the danger of reckless driving.
I have just come back from visiting my elderly aunt, who has lived by herself since her husbands death many years ago. She is fiercely independent, doesn’t want to go into a retirement home and doesn’t want to be a burden on anyone. These days she is struggling with the day to day tasks of getting about. It takes me two days to drive down to see her, but she won’t come and live with us or move closer. She says she doesn’t want to live in the country but I suspect she doesn’t want to be a burden on my husband and I and try as I do to convince her she would be a gift not a burden she won’t budge. (There is a lesson for all of us here on the importance of not being too independent, for we could all benefit others by accepting our interdependence.) I respect her greatly so for the time being this means that I can’t see her as often as I would like but we phone her every night and the love we share is beautiful. I share this beautiful ladies love with a man I barely know his name is Alex, a hard working Maori man, who lives in the same block of units. He came to Australia from New Zealand many years ago, his mum, like mine has passed on and he has adopted my aunt. He drops in the daily paper on his way home from work, fixes the television just about nightly and cooks extra dinner so he can give her some if she needs it. Alex is now family to me, I love him dearly. I really don’t know how I would sleep without knowing he is down there if she needs help. When we can’t contact her on the phone we ring his mobile and he goes and checks she is alright. He is very much the loving son and as she is like a mum to me he has become my brother. My aunt has two daughters, one lives about two hours further north of me the other lives less than an hour away from my aunt, neither visit or regularly ring, they are missing out on so much and I feel sorry that they are but I am so glad that a man from another country has the awareness that it is by giving unconditional love that we are loved and become true family to each other. We are all related but we choose how we relate and I sometimes feel that in Australia we have lost our culture of connectedness. Many are too busy with worldly business stuff and acquiring things that are impermanent and sadly miss out on life’s greatest joy, loving and being loved. Maori culture seems to know more about love and the true meaning of family. My husband today saw a young girl curled up and shivering in a bitterly cold bus shelter. He didn’t simply say poor thing and walk on by. He stopped and was able to help her by buying her a warm coat, a meat pie and making sure she had the bus fare to get her to her sisters. It cost him $50 but as he said to me if it was one of my kids I would want someone to help them. It is the old bible rule “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!” I love my husband and I admire the fact that from a hard life he has learnt compassion. Each day we are given so many opportunities to enrich our lives with true joy, the joy of giving. It may just be a smile , a friendly word, a recognition of the person serving you at the supermarket check out as a real person doing a tiring repetitive job or someone who just looks like they could do with a little help but it is the small things that can connect us a and make us fee valued in a big busy world. Stop being busy for just a moment, break down the barrier and connect! You have nothing to lose, even if the person doesn’t smile back they will notice and perhaps smile at another and you will have lost nothing but you will gain joy, joy in knowing you care and are doing all you can to make this world a more caring, loving place. Joy grows it isn’t fleeting like happiness, happiness is an extreme as is unhappiness there is a lot to be said for contentment and the quiet inner joy that comes from connectedness. It is this that enriches us and allows us to keep on giving. Enjoy the journey and the love fellow travellers share today.