If you look closely at the first picture you will see a gate, straight ahead, and just beyond the trees. It is hidden slightly by the mist but it is there waiting to be opened. Beyond the gate is a clear open field leading down to the beautiful Manning River This is one of my favourite places and if you were to go there you would find the trees are actually in straight lines making it really easy to walk through them. It is often the angle from which we are looking that changes the scene sometimes making things seem harder and more complex than they really are.
A change of perspective can change the whole picture, as you will see by the second photo.
In life there are many turning points and cross roads that present us with decisions to make. All too often the way forward appears unclear and sometimes even frightening.. A hundred scenes play out in our minds as we try to predict the outcome of our choices, we become more and more confused and the advice given by family and friends adds another layer of pressure as we try to take their expectations into the mix. At times like these I have found the only thing that works for me is to LET GO!
I take time out, away from everyone including myself.
You might think this is impossible in this busy world but it’s not! You don’t need to go to a tropical island, take holidays or go on a retreat, although all those would be nice, in reality all you have to do is to make a little space in your day to have quiet time.
Once that space is made find” your special spot” and grab some paper and a pencil.
Is your special spot a bench by the sea, a quiet park or is it as close as a cushion on the floor of your bedroom.
Think of this time as “TIME OUT”, it’s not about making any decisions, they can wait. Nearly all decisions really aren’t as pressing as we feel they are, it’s just that we get so caught up in them and give them so much energy that they take us over
Let others, if there are any around you at this time, that you wish not to be disturbed. Put a sign on the door if necessary. Expect your wish for this necessary time to be respected.
When you sit in your spot BREATHE and as you do notice the feel of your breath on your top lip, really focus on the sensation, as you breath normally for a few minutes. Then starting with your toes clench, wiggle/shake and relax all your muscles in turn working up through your body and when you reach your eyes squeeze them shut tight and on opening them gaze softly downwards, along your nose and take a deep relaxed breath and release any last tension.
Have the paper and pencil at hand and if you feel you have to do something doodle or sketch randomly not trying to create anything but just freely letting the flow take you.
When you feel the flow stop or that you have had enough time out, put the paper away somewhere private, where you can find it next time DON’T TRY TO INTERPRET YOUR DRAWING. The action of drawing/painting itself is what provides the benefit to you as it changes the area of your brain that you are operating in.
Allowing yourself to go often to this space, even in short bursts, will help you become less stressed and allow you to take a step back from any difficulty and view it dispassionately from a distance and from varying perspectives.
I love the prayer…” God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
Courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
When you feel ready or have to make the decision, go to this quiet space, get out your paper and pencil and look at what you would like to achieve before you begin. Write down everything you want and then narrow it down to the most important things to you. I realise there is a focus on “YOU” here but I am assuming here that you, like most people, put yourself, your desires and needs last.
It seems that for most of us the hardest person to love and forgive is always ourselves.
Take an honest look at how much you can achieve at this time, given what you have to work with, the time, strength and courage you have and then finally look for what is the best, most positive outcome possible at this point in time. Remember time changes most things and a series of small steps can take you as far, if not further, over time than huge difficult strides.
As the saying goes “From little things big things grow.”
Then TRUST,STEP FORWARD and ACT OR…. LET IT GO for the time being or until the time is right and you feel better prepared.
If you find yourself taking the second option on important decisions ask yourself “DO I NEED TO SEEK ADVICE FROM AN OUTSIDE PROFESSIONAL TO DO THIS”
Remember you can only do your best. NO ONE GETS IT RIGHT ALL THE TIME. Accept that you like everyone will make mistakes without the world ending and that if we forgive others they will generally forgive us, if not it really is their problem, we have no control over how others choose to feel.
Setting boundaries is hard but it is vital in life to respect ourselves just as much as we respect others.
I hope this helps a little, as I said, it works for me but then we are all beautifully unique and have such different lives, needs hopes and aspirations, so honour your own journey. Namaste The spirit in me wishes the spirit in you every blessing. Enjoy your journey!