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What About Me!

 

 

 

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Some people think solely about themselves, others mostly about themselves and others never about themselves. Like most things in life a little balance is a good thing. Sadly certain people and even organisations expect a lot or else regard one as unworthy or not reaching their standard. This takes it’s toll on the giver/doer and has a huge cost. Worn out by constant doing for others they sometimes even give up despairing of ever being “GOOD ENOUGH” or “DOING ENOUGH TO PLEASE”  “I should do more…”

I have found, as I have become older and a little wiser, that some people just take and if you are a giver by nature you need to take the difficult step for most givers of putting strong boundaries in place.

It is good to give but it is necessary to remember to also give to yourself and this requires taking time for yourself to do the things that give you pleasure.

A slot in your diary for “ME TIME” is vital especially for busy people.

Taking time to replenish and nurture yourself is not selfish and you must never fell guilty or that you are not doing what you should because by taking time out regularly you will find you  are wiser about what ,when and how to give in a way that is beneficial to all involved. You will also develop a greater ability to give lovingly and without strings, so by having compassion on yourself, stepping back and having some me time, you are really helping others as well.

In all things let there be balance in you life is a lesson I have had to learn the hard way.

I hope it is something you already do, if not don’t wait for sickness to make you take time out, start planning changes and enjoy the journey.

Namaste Brita

 

 

 

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An Irish Blessing.

 

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May flowers always line your path

and sunshine light the way.

May songbirds serenade you

every step along the way.

May a rainbow run beside you

in a sky that’s always blue

And may happiness fill your heart

each day your  whole life through!

Just for YOU!

… and yes it is possible to have all these gifts everyday of our lives I have seen many do so even in the face of painful deaths from cancer. All it takes is being able to remain in the moment and be a peaceful, joyful, contented observer of our life and  rest in the knowledge that we are here to grow in love and beauty. This is a great challenge but one many people succeed at through practising meditation or praying.  Trials are opportunities. They come and go, so often providing new or deeper connections with the people who support us at  these times. No moment lasts and the sum of them all define us as the unique, beautiful soul that we are. We write our life’s story not just by how we act but by how we react. The energy we give out not only touches those around us but also the greater energy of this world. By sending out loving kindness to all and most importantly by including ourselves, we are creating a new more beautiful world.

Namaste. Enjoy you journey and many blessings. Brita

A Blessing Called Bob.

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We have a very special friend called Bob who has been in our lives for many, many years. I would love to post his picture for you  but he would hate it. As his name suggests he seems at first meeting a down to earth, ordinary bloke but perceptions are seldom accurate, Bob is truly amazing!

He, like many, would do anything to help anyone but these days he does stuff everyday to help everyone!

Did I hear you say “Wow!”?

What he does is he gives as well as receives. His gift’s are the priceless treasures that lift your spirit and inspire you and when you get them you immediately tuck them away in your heart for a rainy day when the world looks grim and hope seems a very fragile thing. They don’t cost him a lot, just a kind thought and the click of a mouse for they have been sent as emails to him from all over the world by friends that he has met in his travels. Bob seldom sends stuff about himself and what he’s up to but everyone loves his emails and he sends lots because Bob has always been generous. Each day you receive beautiful picture, jokes, incredible stories and today this one that I just had to share. It said on the bottom

 

“Share this with someone you want blessed.”

I hope you are blessed by it as I was.

Most of all I pray that Bob is blessed for just being Bob!

Namaste Brita.

 

EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO KNOW, I LEARNED FROM NOAH’S ARK.

1. Don’t miss the boat.

2. Remember that we are all in the same boat!

3. Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark.

4. Stay fit. When you’re sixty years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.

5. Don’t listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.

6. Build your future on high ground.

7. For safety sake travel in pairs.

8. Speed isn’t always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.

9. When you’re stressed, float awhile.

10. Remember the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

11. No matter what the storm, when you are with God, there is always a rainbow waiting.

 

 

 

When you can’t think straight…MEDITATE!

 

 

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Recently I was really stressed by a situation that involved helping a loved one. A thousand thoughts and emotions flooded through my mind, I simply couldn’t think straight and the harder I tried the more tired and confused I became. Then someone said the magic words “LET GO” to me and I remembered to make time to meditate. In the spaciousness of meditation I was able to view my thoughts and emotions with a totally unbiased attitude. When your attitude changes your whole mind changes, even the nature of your thoughts and emotions change. I simply sat and watched my thoughts drift by like the sky watching clouds pass through it. I noticed love, fear, anxiety and a feeling of wanting to control the situation drift by but didn’t try to grasp them, cling to them or indulge in them. I merely observed that, like the wind, they came and went. In allowing them to flow through my mind while keeping my mind free of afterthoughts and possible solutions I found them quickly settle and from a new detached space I was free to see the reality of the situation. What I could change and what I just needed to let go. It was amazing what a difference it made.

Sogyal Rinpoche  said,

“In the ordinary mind we perceive the stream of thoughts as continuous in reality this is not the case , You will discover for yourself that there is a gap between each thought. When the past thought is past and the future thought has not yet arisen, you will always find a gap in which  Rigpa, the nature of mind is revealed. So the work of meditation is to allow thoughts to slow down, to make that gap more and more apparent.”

Learning to meditate certainly takes a bit of effort but the effort is more than repaid by the peace and clarity you find and yes the situation resolved itself, working out far better for everyone concerned, than I could ever have dreamed of.

Namaste!

 

 

 

Forgiveness

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Everyone of us makes mistakes, we are after all human. Wise people learn from their mistakes and quickly forgive the mistakes of both themselves and others, as they know that to not forgive them poisons their own inner happiness.

We cannot truly judge mistakes and this is one reason why Jesus told us not to judge others unless we are willing to be judged.

Sadly some people deliberately go against this teaching and try to impose guilt and shame onto others or in some cases themselves. They forget that making a mistake does not make you a bad person and use labels like “sinner”.  The word that sin comes from is actually an ancient archery term for “missing the mark”.  When the person shooting the arrow missed the target it was their signal to  realign and try again. It is sad and wrong that many today use the word as a label of condemnation.

We are all works in progress and it would be a much happier world if we all had  signs on us that read ” This person is currently being developed, thank you for your patience.” I know, this all sounds very simplistic. When we are hurt  it seems natural to react impulsively with anger, blame and then to sometimes impose guilt and shame on each other yet in the process of doing this we destroy relationships, sometimes forever and only increase the suffering, prolonging it and creating hell for all involved including the innocent bystanders who are frequently one’s children.

A deep sense of guilt has destroyed so many lives. People feel unworthy of forgiveness. Yet the message of Jesus in the bible is one of love and forgiveness. If he can forgive us, surely we too can forgive. It sounds easy, often it is far from that but it is worth the effort. It allows you to move on, to grow and to teach others from a place of new understanding. It can lead to new awareness and empathy and give insight into how it feels to walk in another’s shoes. It can also renew and create greater love, caring and acceptance.

A very old prayer always comes to me when I face these tough times, it says…

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS,

I CANNOT CHANGE.

COURAGE TO CHANGE,

THE THINGS I CAN

AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

I would like to add…

And the ability to forgive and move on TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME!

NAMASTE!

Seeing Life’s Path Clearly Now The Fog Has Lifted.

Seeing Life's Path Clearly Now The Fog Has Lifted.

The Way Ahead Is Easy To See. A New perspective and time out have helped clear the way.
Please see previous two posts to understand this as I was unable to get the whole post to load as one. I still have much to learn not only on life’s journey but also on my computer skills journey. Thanks for your patience. Namaste.

Seeing The Path of Life.

 

 

If you look closely at the first picture you will see a gate, straight ahead, and just beyond the trees. It is hidden slightly by the mist but it is there waiting to be opened. Beyond the gate is a clear open field leading down to the beautiful Manning River This is one of my favourite places and if you were to go there you would find the trees are actually in straight lines making it really easy to walk through them. It is often the angle from which we are looking that changes the scene sometimes making things seem harder and more complex than they really are.

A change of perspective can change the whole picture, as you will see by the second photo.

In life there are many turning points and cross roads that present us with decisions to make. All too often the way forward appears unclear and sometimes even frightening.. A hundred scenes play out in our minds as we try to predict the outcome of our choices, we become more and more confused and the advice given by family and friends adds another layer of pressure as we try to take their expectations into the mix. At times like these I have found the only thing that works for me is to LET GO! 

I take time out, away from everyone including myself. 

You might think this is impossible in this busy world but it’s not! You don’t need to go to a tropical island, take holidays or go on a retreat, although all those would be nice, in reality all  you have to do is to make a little space in your day to have quiet time.

Once that space is made find” your special spot” and grab some paper and a pencil.

Is your special spot a bench by the sea, a quiet park or is it as close as a cushion on the floor of your bedroom.

Think of this time as “TIME OUT”, it’s not about making any decisions, they can wait. Nearly all decisions really aren’t as pressing as we feel they are, it’s just that we get so caught up in them and give them so much energy that they take us over

Let others, if there are any around you at this time, that you wish not to be disturbed. Put a sign on the door if necessary. Expect your wish for this necessary time to be respected. 

 When you sit in your spot BREATHE and as you do notice the feel of your breath on your top lip, really focus on the sensation, as you breath normally for a few minutes. Then starting with your toes clench, wiggle/shake and relax all your muscles in turn working up through your body and when you reach your eyes squeeze them shut tight and on opening them gaze softly downwards, along your nose and take a deep relaxed breath and release any last tension.

Have the paper and pencil at hand and if you feel you have to do something doodle or sketch randomly not trying to create anything but just freely letting the flow take you.

When you feel the flow stop or that you have had enough time out, put the paper away somewhere private, where you can find it next time DON’T TRY TO INTERPRET YOUR DRAWING. The action of drawing/painting itself is what provides the benefit to you as it changes the area of your brain that you are operating in.

Allowing yourself to go often to this space, even in short bursts, will help you become less stressed and allow you to take a step back from any difficulty and view it dispassionately from a distance and from varying perspectives.

I love the prayer…” God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

                              Courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

When you feel ready or have to make the decision, go to this quiet space, get out your paper and pencil and look at what you would like to achieve before you begin. Write down everything you want and then narrow it down to the most important things to you. I realise there is a focus on “YOU” here but I am assuming here that you, like most people, put yourself, your desires and needs last.

It seems that for most of us the hardest person to love and forgive is always ourselves.

Take an honest look at how much you can achieve at this time, given what you have to work with, the time, strength and courage you have and then finally look for what is the best, most positive outcome possible at this point in time. Remember time changes most things and a series of small steps can take you as far, if not further, over time than huge difficult strides.

As the saying goes “From little things big things grow.”

Then TRUST,STEP FORWARD and ACT OR…. LET IT GO for the time being or until the time is right and you feel better prepared.

If you find yourself taking the second option on important decisions ask yourself “DO I NEED TO SEEK ADVICE FROM AN OUTSIDE PROFESSIONAL TO DO THIS”

Remember you can only do your best. NO ONE GETS IT RIGHT ALL THE TIME. Accept that you like everyone will make mistakes without the world ending and that if we forgive others they will generally forgive us, if not it really is their problem, we have no control over how others choose to feel.

Setting boundaries is hard but it is vital in life to respect ourselves just as much as we respect others.

I hope this helps a little, as I said, it works for me but then we are all beautifully unique and  have such different lives, needs hopes and aspirations, so honour your own journey. Namaste The spirit in me wishes the spirit in you every blessing. Enjoy your journey!

CREATING A PERSONAL RETREAT.

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Are you time poor with too many demands from work, family or other commitments to attend a retreat or do you simply not have the money to pay for one? Whatever the reason, there is a simple solution, CREATE YOUR OWN.

With a little planning and preparation you can honour yourself and take the time to focus on renewing your spirit and getting back in touch with yourself or perhaps even reach out towards the spiritual awareness you desire.

The first thing to remember is that you are worth the effort. If that isn’t a good enough reason to make time then perhaps for some reason you haven’t yet discovered the importance of self love, in that case, for the moment, focus on the benefits a retreat will bring to everyone around you. A calmer, happier, more positive and peaceful you will be able to give them greater support.

PREPARATION.

* FIND A SUITABLE TIME.

What is the best day of the week to do it. Fewer commitments. Easier for those living with you  to support your need for silence.

Children at camp, away visiting, partner away, quieter time at work etc. If none of these are happening organise for them to happen.

*PREPARE YOURSELF.

Look forward to this time. Think what will make it really work for me? If you are addicted to coffee, tea or some other stimulant that will prevent your mind from settling cut back gradually. It will almost impossible to meditate with a screaming headache.

You might like to purchase some small item to enhance the experience for you. (This is not essential but if this is a treat you are giving yourself buying a special candle, some incense, a crystal, religious object, flowers or some special music can mark it as special and make it more significant.)

*TELL EVERYONE YOU ARE UNCONTACTABLE.

If it is difficult for you to do this for any reason, for example if you feel you don’t wish to share what you are doing at work, but need to take time out, then give a good reason, there is no need to lie simply tell the truth. “I am  going to visit a close friend who needs me and I won’t have phone/internet reception until I return.” Remember that no one is so important that they can’t be done without. It will only be for a day. If you were to die right now it may be a nuisance to some but they would quickly find a way to do those jobs. Look at it this way, at least you’ll be back and most if not all the jobs can wait till then.  If any can’t then delegate them for the day.

*DRAW UP A PROGRAMME.

Decide the length and number of your sessions. Four 30 minute sessions may be enough for a start (or six to eight 30 minute sessions).

Decide on the type/types of meditation techniques you will use. Sitting with focus on breath, object, mantra or walking.

*FIND A SUITABLE PLACE TO MEDITATE.

It needs to be quiet, not too warm and airy.

*CHOOSE SUITABLE MUSIC IF YOU ARE USING IT.

*DECIDE WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO BETWEEN SESSIONS.

If you plan to read choose suitable texts. Spend time outside if you have a quiet garden. Physical labour is also suitable as is creating a mandala or artwork. Whatever the task focus mindfully on

*PREPARE FOOD BEFOREHAND.

Keep meals simple and frugal. Fruit, salad, bread, nuts, cheese. Drink only water or fruit juice.

*PREPARE YOUR MEDITATION SPACE.

HAVE WATER AT HAND.

HAVE A WAY OF MARKING THE PASSING OF TIME.

Suitable music with timed pieces can be used or have a watch/ clock in sight so you can time your sessions.

HAVE A BLANKET OR RUG AT HAND.

If you are sitting still you may get cold and hunting for one can be distracting.

*ENLIST THE SUPPORT OF ANYONE WHO LIVES WITH YOU.

So that you can keep silent all day. If you have pets and they may distract you take steps to prevent them doing this during your meditation times.

*TURN OFF ALL PHONES AND COMPUTERS.

BEGIN YOUR PERSONAL RETREAT.

ENJOY YOUR JOURNEY!

TIBETAN HEALING

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Venerable Lobsang Tendar with some students (I am in the white top) at a retreat last year.

I am looking forward to August when at another retreat I will learn more.

Tibetans use an ancient form of medicine called “The Knowledge of Healing” whose origins are believed to be based on the teachings of the historical Buddha.

In the Tibetan medical tradition, the concept of well-being takes into account the full dynamics of mind, body and spirit to achieve effective and comprehensive healing. It utilizes the power of mantra (a creative repetitive sound) and the power of meditative stabilization.

In Tibetan Buddhist healing the notion of the law of  karma implies infinite interlinked causes for any single event.

Three emotions known as the “Three Interior Poisons” are considered to be the root of all illness.

The first poison is desire or passion, which manifests as grasping at objects or pleasant experiences.

The second poison is hatred which manifests as  pushing away of unpleasant experiences or objects.

Finally, ignorance or confusion, the third poison involves misunderstanding the nature of an object or a particular experience.

It is vital for anyone involved in healing to develop compassion for without compassion for self and others no true healing can take place.

If you are interested in learning more about Tibetan Healing or studying it contact Venerable Lobsang Tendar (There is a link on this site just click on the smiling Buddhist Monk widget) or google Tendar. He is an amazing, humble monk whose life is dedicated to healing. He now lives in Melbourne, Australia but if you live anywhere else in the world I am sure he can advise you on avenues of further study.

If you are motivated to study, learn and change I encourage you to do it.

We all say ” Tomorrow I’ll do that”  but tomorrow never comes, so I say,” the perfect time to start something never comes so best do it now!”

Remember  Michael Jackson said in “Man in the Mirror”

“If you want to make the world a better place,

take a look at yourself and make the change.”

Such wise words but like most of us I suspect he was going to do it tomorrow.

Make the change today, become a healer, you don’t have to be Tibetan to develop compassion. Mind you they have an awful lot to teach most of us. The teachings of His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Tendar have been a great light to me personally and I am deeply thankful for their sharing of their knowledge and life’s journey. People like them change everyone they come in contact with and in doing so they certainly are changing the world.

Blessings on your journey.

Feeling Truly Supported.

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LOVE NEVER DIES

THOSE PASSED OVER

SUPPORT US

UNSEEN

DAILY

NO MATTER WHAT

WE DO

SAY

OR

HOW WE FEEL

WE ARE ALL LOVED

COMPLETELY

FOREVER

LOVE NEVER DIES.

Today I have the flu. It is a beautiful day. The sun is out, the birds singing and I have been forced to stop and rest.

Sometimes I think we forget to stop and just be. While resting I have looked at the other sites of people who are following mine and I have learnt so much. Among them were true jewels, not selling anything but spreading light, love and wisdom. I have put a couple on my site. The one Hand in Hand inspired my poem above, it brought to mind my family now in spirit and awareness brought them close. There is no real separation, they have just passed through a beautiful door into spirit. I will pass through that doorway, again, just as I did when I was born and the experience I know will be just as wonderful. The process may look a bit rough  ( It usually is and I am constantly  amazed at how strong women are!), but then the smile on the face of a mother,  when she first gazes in love and awe at her baby, says it all.

My husband is also supporting me. The papers are here with a cup of tea  and he is off to buy something for dinner that we don’t need to cook. While my body feels awful, my spirit has never felt better. Many thanks to all both seen and unseen who are making my day!

Such a lovely day even the kangaroos are up and about!

I am loving just sitting watching everyone enjoying life.

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MORE FRIENDS ENJOYING THE DAY

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WE ARE CALLED HUMANBEINGS

NOT

HUMANDOINGS

I MUST REMEMBER THAT

NAMASTE